I Really Should Be Working
Tim just asked me a couple of uncomfortable questions, reminding me that the world isn’t as I want it to be. And that I can’t control everything for him anymore.
On the television show Dawson’s Creek, the main character Dawson (who’s parents were divorced) said something like this:
“It was like you two walked into my room and destroyed every toy that I loved. Then looked at me and said ‘now you clean it up’.”
I can’t really think of a more apt way of describing what divorce does to families and kids – not that I have any first hand experience. I have had friends who have been divorced and I have seen the devastation that it creates.
Tim has a friend who’s parents are getting divorced. He comes to me and tells me things that his friend says to him or things he overhears and asks me what that means. It’s hard to explain. I’m not certain that – had I ever gone though it – I could explain it to him.
But, my heart breaks for the kids caught in the middle, as well as the parents at the ends of this fight. At some point, divorce was just not something that was done ... no matter how bad the marriage was. And, there are parts of me that thinks it would be good if we could go back to that: when divorce was a dirty word.
But, that’s probably not for the best. Probably.
I blame us for divorce really; “us”, “Christians”. We ran this country at some point in the not too distant past. And, we let ourselves get caught up in the evil of this world. Or, maybe we never let ourselves get uncaught up in the evil of it.
We allowed words like abortion and divorce to become words without stigma. Sadly, we couldn’t also make them actions without pain. We are left with people who are broken; and I am at a loss for words to comfort them.
How can you make a child believe that their Heavenly Father loves them when their Earthly one just walked out the door? How can you make a mother believe that there is forgiveness for an abortion; or a gay man feel the acceptance of Christ? The Body seems to intent on pushing them away for their sin. How do you teach a teenager that their body is the Temple of God when everyone else tells them that it’s ok to have sex before marriage?
Other than “well, you just do.” I don’t have a lot of answers for these questions. And, with two boys going up so fast, I’m going to need answers for some of these questions sooner rather than later.
I have to get back to work. But, I needed to write this and at least start (for myself and my family) the process of letting God give me His answers for these questions.
Thanks for listening -- Andy
On the television show Dawson’s Creek, the main character Dawson (who’s parents were divorced) said something like this:
“It was like you two walked into my room and destroyed every toy that I loved. Then looked at me and said ‘now you clean it up’.”
I can’t really think of a more apt way of describing what divorce does to families and kids – not that I have any first hand experience. I have had friends who have been divorced and I have seen the devastation that it creates.
Tim has a friend who’s parents are getting divorced. He comes to me and tells me things that his friend says to him or things he overhears and asks me what that means. It’s hard to explain. I’m not certain that – had I ever gone though it – I could explain it to him.
But, my heart breaks for the kids caught in the middle, as well as the parents at the ends of this fight. At some point, divorce was just not something that was done ... no matter how bad the marriage was. And, there are parts of me that thinks it would be good if we could go back to that: when divorce was a dirty word.
But, that’s probably not for the best. Probably.
I blame us for divorce really; “us”, “Christians”. We ran this country at some point in the not too distant past. And, we let ourselves get caught up in the evil of this world. Or, maybe we never let ourselves get uncaught up in the evil of it.
We allowed words like abortion and divorce to become words without stigma. Sadly, we couldn’t also make them actions without pain. We are left with people who are broken; and I am at a loss for words to comfort them.
How can you make a child believe that their Heavenly Father loves them when their Earthly one just walked out the door? How can you make a mother believe that there is forgiveness for an abortion; or a gay man feel the acceptance of Christ? The Body seems to intent on pushing them away for their sin. How do you teach a teenager that their body is the Temple of God when everyone else tells them that it’s ok to have sex before marriage?
Other than “well, you just do.” I don’t have a lot of answers for these questions. And, with two boys going up so fast, I’m going to need answers for some of these questions sooner rather than later.
I have to get back to work. But, I needed to write this and at least start (for myself and my family) the process of letting God give me His answers for these questions.
Thanks for listening -- Andy
posted by AndyM at 5:42 PM
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