wednesday night worship

note: i need to figure out how to write less here. this is too long - thanks for being patient as i try and curtail self-indulgent writing ways.

tonight’s scripture: isaiah 58: 6-9

it’s over ... and i’m not really sure how it went. that’s weird for me. there are times when i think it went one way and it went the other. there are times when i know exactly how it went ... but tonight, i think it went well. but, i really don’t know.

part of my problem is that when I looked up, i only looked up at the people who i knew where into the worship. more on that in a moment.

i got a word – but i never really got it “processed” (if that’s the right word). it either didn’t want to come out or i was not in tune enough with God to get it out or something else. i don’t have much of an idea about how prophetic flow works. i’m very much learning as i go.

more on that who i’m looking at: it’s sucks to be trying to lead worship and look up into the faces of people who are just not “getting it”. it’s easier to find the people who know are really pressing into God and – when you look up – look at them. but, it’s the people who aren’t pressing in that we most need to bring before His presence. looking at them – with your eyes and with your spiritual “senses” should give you some kind of connection to them. then, it’s time to begin to intercede for them – praying them into the Presence.

other things that happened tonight: we had a new singer – and she pretty much rocked. i will call her Ray – for the purposes of this blog. ray has amazing pipes ... there was more than one time when i wanted to look over to her and tell her to take it. but – as i’m a decent guy and it was her first time up there with me – i didn’t think that would be the loving thing to do to her. but – her voice blew me away: the power, the passion and the beauty of it. wow!

things i learned: (a) newly shaved heads and lots of sweat don’t really mix well. i needed a towel a couple of times to dry off with. i’m not one of those “unsweaty” fat guys – i’m a big, horking sweaty fat guy and tonight – it was pretty gross. but, gross is not as bad as sweat just rolling into your eyes. so, next time, i need to give my hair a couple of days to grow in before i lead (or find one of those “cool” nba style headbands. (b) never take the stage without some water around. my throat went dry about 15 minutes into the service and i just had to ride it out.

it was said to me tonight that we don’t really have enough people here to really change anything about the “water level” of our church. i guess that’s true – it’s certainly true in the natural world. but, i believe that God will honor what we’re doing – or i hope that He will. i’m just tired of “things as they were” and want to push to something new. i’m not saying that what was before was bad – because it wasn’t. i just think that there’s more – new places we can go as a Body than we just can’t access alone. there’s more that God wants to give us as we move in – together. i hope that i said that right – i really don’t want the people who read this to take offense. most of what i know, and most of what i have come to understand was learned at their feet. the members and leadership of the Believers Fellowship Worship team are very among my heroes of the faith; and i feel inadequate to even offer them advice.

a couple of weeks ago – when i led worship on sunday morning - i got a leading from God that i should ask everyone to join hands and sing a song: specifically “break dividing walls”. but, as the service ended, i didn’t have a chance to take it back from the headman that day. i did file that away for another day.

tonight, as we began the last song, i asked everyone to join hands as we sang. i wanted to create a feeling of family and unity – and i think that it worked some. But, as I looked out – people while they moved (physically) some, there were still pockets of hand-holders. There wasn’t ONE group of people – there were four or five. i didn’t press the issue – people were so spread out that i was happy to have as much movement as i got. still, i know that God wants us to become “one”.

the message tonight was about walking by faith instead of sight. as p.j. was giving the message, I began to see two roads: one “real” and one “faith”. along the real road, there was nothing ... no sense of progress and no sense of purpose: just deserts of doubt. on the faith road, i saw promises; i saw signposts and i eventually saw the thing that i have been praying for (whatever that might be). in this case, it was a tearing down of the walls between the believers in our body; and the beginning of real unity among this Body. after the inside walls have been destroyed, it’s time to bring down the walls of our building. they should be no impediment to the spreading of the great commission and the will of the Lord.

there are two great commandments that Jesus gave us. one: to love the Lord our God with all our might. two: to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. i wonder if we spend so much time learning how to love God with all our might that we have skipped the part about loving each other – or even ourselves.

the best news about commandment 2 (and 1 for that matter) is that we’re about to start home groups again. we’re going to spend time learning how to love God properly while we’re learning to love each other. i don’t think that home groups are the entire answer – but i do think that they are the place to start to learn to form good friendships, and Christ-love relationships.

the first home group really starts in mid-august. and i cannot put into words how excited i am to be a part of that group.

ok – that’s enough – good night. andy