One worship service and two funerals

Here are some general thoughts on “stuff” that’s happened this week.

Item #1: Was boring and so, there’s no need to post it. Rip it from your mind and pretend that it was never here.

Item #2: Wednesday Night Worship – Live with AJ (Springman 2k)

My first impression was not favorable. I didn’t like the direction the first song went in; I was a little uncomfortable with some of the echo harmony/parts. But, my problem was that I was listening too much to the music and not enough to what was happening. AJ was hearing – he seemed to be right in the sweet spot (so to speak) of the worship anointing. After the first couple of songs, he stopped us and talked about how God was looking to bring Joy to those who needed it.

Joy – not the “laughing anointing” kind of joy; but the “beauty for ashes” joy. The kind of joy that heals, rather than the kind the refreshes (if you see my meaning). It’s really something to watch as God uses us to work on the needs of others; such an honor and blessing to be the instrument in the hand of God. As I played and sang, I watched the faces and the countenances of the people being ministered to; you could see some of them really grab what God had for them.

My hat is off to AJ for hearing and doing and PJ (that’s a lot of “Js”) for letting things go as He wanted them to. Man – God is good.

Item #3: A Funeral

I sang for a funeral last week – something I have never done before. I went into it thinking that it was just like anything else – only with songs that I knew really well (In the Garden and How Great Thou Art). So, there I was – sitting in the back listening to the eulogy and waiting to do the first song (In The Garden).

I guess I should start by saying that the woman who was being buried – I didn’t know her. I knew her daughter. Her daughter, I’m calling her one part of the 2-headed diva (2HD for short), is on the worship team with me and I just think the world of her. When she asked me to sing, I didn’t think twice about not doing it. It seemed like the only thing in the world to do.

So – I’m sitting in the back (dressed in a coat and tie no less – so, that was an occasion) and I’m listening to them talk about their mother/grandmother/aunt – all the many titles this glorious woman wore during her life. And, I feel like I’m a poorer person for not knowing her; but, as I listen, that poorness is being taken away as I listen to the reflections of her being shown me in the words of those who loved her so much.

Eulogy’s over and I’m on. I warmed up plenty; but that seems like it was hours ago. I’ve been crying a little and my throat is swollen from that. Normally, when I sing, I try and focus on God first, and then the rest of anyone else who’s there. But, today I know that I’m singing for people – people who are hurting and I begin to get *really* nervous.

The first song started slowly. I fumbled my way around the first verse; I let it get too slow. Anyway, I wasn’t very happy with the way it went. The sermon-type-deal was nice; a much needed break (for me anyway) from the emotionally tense eulogies. The sermon was good; it made everyone laugh in a few places and it reminded us all the she was in a better place; with Jesus – and where she had wanted to go most everyday she had been alive.

The second song went much better. My voice was ready to sing and the sermon helped me get my mind back and re-focused on what the task at hand was. I was really very honored to have been asked to sing here; and I hope that I was a blessing to those who needed one.

Item #4: Another Funeral

A sadder note. For the second time this year, a person I knew pretty well when I was growing up lost their child. The first time, it was a friend of mine. Their boy was 12 or 13 and he died suddenly. The news hit me hard; I was unable to think about much else for several days. I wanted to say something to my friend and his wife; but every time I tried to write, all that came out was crap – pointless – platitude – cliché. Most of which I had a hard time reading back to myself. So, I said nothing. I prayed for them and still do. But I had no words for them.

More recently, another friend’s daughter died. She was 5, and died after a year long battle with an illness. I have no idea why God didn’t heal her. There are things that we just don’t get to understand here. I know that God is good and that He is love – and I know that he has reasons for everything. I just don’t know what those reasons could be. “My ways are higher than your ways.”

It’s hard to trust blindly like this; it’s hard to have faith that God is good when he can take people’s children from them. But, that is what is required: blind faith to go along with our obedience. My heart goes out to both families; my words still seem to fail me when I think about what I might say to them. But, maybe I need some faith in my Father’s ability to use me in this way. I repent from my faithlessness in this matter.

I rest in the thought that God is good – all the time.

That’s all – Andy.