My Amazing Wife

This morning, we all got up early and drove out to EC Glass High School. Lyn, dressed (uncharacteristically) in spandex and lubed up with Vaseline, was preparing to run the Virginia Ten Miler. The morning was overcast and very humid. And the raceway was packed.

Mack, Tim and I cheered as Lyn ran past us with the starting stampede (there were a lot of others), pounding the pavement with her feet. I think that she had a bit of nerves before starting the race; she seemed less at ease in the car as we drove over. But starting, those were gone and replaced with her tenacity.

With the race started, the we left the start/finish line ... she told me that she would be back sometime after 110 minutes. We mostly goofed off. Tim asked lots of questions about her and wondered if she’d “win”. Tim is big into winning.

I tried my best to answer his questions: tried to explain that winning and losing didn’t really apply here. This was more about besting yourself and the course (despite the fact that they had a timer and one her friends wouldn’t run the 10 mile race because she didn’t think she’d finish fast enough ... maybe it is more about winning than I let on). “Besting yourself” didn’t sound all that great to the boy.

We wandered back to the start/finish line at about the 1 hour 40 mark to watch for her and cheer on those who were finishing. Dressed in pink, we knew that we’d see her as she approached (up a long hill). Every form that came up the hill in pink made Tim say: Dad! That’s her!

But, it wasn’t really her. Tim and I (and Mack too) watched with the hope that the next pink-clad runner would be Lyn. Finally, we saw her (and unlike the time that Tim thought that a 9-year old girl looked like his mom: it really was her). She looked pretty spent, but had a smile on her face.

She was also locked in a duel with a 80 year-old man. He tired to press her on the left, but she would not be passed. He tried again; but she forced herself faster. I could tell that there was no way he was going to beat her. Finally, she put him behind her for good, breaking into an even bigger smile as she plowed on toward the finish line.

We started cheering as soon as she was within ear shot. Mack started calling “Mommmmmiiiiieeee!!!!” while Tim and I waved madly. I wish that I had been standing behind the finish line so I could have seen her face as she crossed. Lyn pounded ten miles of Lynchburg streets and paths into submission today and I couldn’t have been prouder. She even out-paced her Octogenarian nemesis.

I don’t think that she was very happy with her time: it was the slowest she’s ever run this course before (she ran it several times in practice). But, I can’t really bring myself to care about the time. She went out and raced: beating the humidity, her legs and the miles into submission.

She did it!

Church at GenCon

In 2002, Dave Mattingly asked me to lead worship for the GenCon church service. I think it was the first one, but I’m not sure. Anyway, I got together with the guy who was going to give the devotional – he played guitar. He had two friends who played percussion and we had a brief practice before the 9AM service and we sounded great.

But, before I get into that, a bit of background. This was my first GenCon and I was there to help my company with our release of the Fifth Edition of Champions. GenCon is a giant role-playing game convention, and I believe that the attendance numbers in excess of 20,000. It starts on Thursday and is over on Sunday and is called “the best four days in gaming”.

Exhibitors get in on Wednesday and set up. Sell, sell, sell Thursday-Sunday. Then there’s the swag and trade session on Sunday before the mad dash to break down.

Attendees (and exhibitors) generally stay up late playing games, going to parties or generally hanging out. And, by “stay up late”, I mean ... 3AM late. And so, back to Dave and the church service. Smartly, he didn’t want to cut into Con time; so he held the service at 9AM on the fourth day of the Con.

That first year, when we had a guitarist and two people playing percussion, we had exactly zero people show up. This was my first time to ever lead worship and I was – no kidding – leading to the “audience of One”. It’s tough to sing, full-voiced to an empty room. But, we did just that. The weirdness of the moment seemed to increase when a woman walked in.

She was confused at the singing and such. We welcomed her; and she asked: “Is this advanced chess tactics?” We said “No.” and she asked it if was OK for her to sit in the back and read. We said “Yes.”

In that moment, our audience doubled! Our service continued, Tony gave a short devotional message and we went our way – only I didn’t feel like I had been working 12 hour days and then staying up late. I felt refreshed and wonderful.

And now, the present.

After six years of not going to GenCon, I went back this year (and had a blast). Dave asked me to lead worship and I agreed. Only, I didn’t have the guitar player or the two drummers. But, I figured that there are worse things than not having instruments. I showed up around 8:30 (for the 9AM service), looked over the song sheet and did what little setting up I needed to do.

People slowly being to fill the room. No one really looked all that fresh as the service began. I confess that when I walked in, I was desperately clinging to my coffee cup trying to shake myself into wakefulness. This was day four of the convention and everyone looked it.

Dave welcomed everyone and introduced me. I told the story about the “advanced chess girl” and the last time I lead worship here. I looked up and saw a room that was full. There were people standing against the back wall!! My, how it had grown!

We started simply, with the Doxology before moving into other songs. The sounds of our praise began to fill the room and then out into the hotel where the church was being held. Quickly, I felt the restorative touch of God as my weariness lifted. I was filled with His power; the room was filled with His presence.

There were times when I stopped singing and just allowed the sounds of all those voices wash over me. There is something to be said about the simple beauty of people singing in unison, without instrumental accompaniment. It was powerful. I found myself so full of joy that my moment of listening was soon ended by the need to express the joy that God placed in my heart.

When the song service had ended, we had a short devotion that was the word we needed to hear. Derek White (www.geekpreacher.com) delivered a powerful word to us – calling us to be more inclusive; more forgiving and more Christ-like in our lives.

We followed that by taking Communion and then we sang “They’ll Know We Are Christians By Our Love” (a song that I do not particularly like, but felt lead to sing). I felt Derek take my hand and I took someone else’s and soon we stood – raising each other’s hands in praise to our God.

As I walked away with another friend of mine, we discussed just how refreshed we felt. God moved. And, He moved on our behalf.

One last note – and this is about Dave. Dave took up the task of this church service and does it twice a year (once at Origins (in June) and once at GenCon (is August)). He had scant attendance for the first 4 or so times he did it (my memory is that there were 12 total people at 4 services (and that includes the 1 from my 2002 GenCon service).

To his credit (though he is too humble to take any), Dave kept doing his job. He ferried the communion parts, organized someone to lead worship and then someone to give a word. He had signs and cards made, got space in the hotel/convention center, and the convention program (except when they left it out).

He did all this work and saw very little physical fruit. I’m sure the felt the peace of God rest upon him; I’m sure he felt the strength of the joy that God gave him. But, I’m also sure that he saw 12 people over 4 years and wondered just how long God was going to ask him to do this.

Dave could have given up at any time. But he didn’t. The third or fourth year they had 50 people and now it’s around 100.

I tried to tell Dave this year just how great a thing he was doing. Dave told me it was “nothing”. And here, he and I have a great disagreement. What Dave did/does is something and it is something wonderful. He’s a great mover in the Kingdom of God and someone who has shown that he is trustworthy with the talent that God has given him.

And so, I’d like to say: Thanks Dave and thanks God for picking someone like him.

Look -- Down On The Earth

Sunday night, Lyn came home and pulled me outside. She wanted to show me how pretty the moon was. Even though trees partially blocked our sight-line, I could tell that the moon was in its full glory: luminous and wondrous. I went to bed thinking about the stars and moon: I really do love the night sky.

I woke up, my mind still contemplating how magnificent the night sky is: how amazing God's creations are; how amazing God is. I took my devotion time from "just waking up" into prayer and the Bible.

I read a couple of Psalms and then continued my study in Job. But soon, I began to think: people are more complex than the moon. God created the moon for us, just as He created the sun and the earth (and the rest of the universe) for us. And, while I gladly, freely and wondrously worship God in the beauty of the moon and the star.

I don't think that I have ever worshiped God in the beauty and the wonder of another person?

When I asked Lyn about this, she corrected me and pointed to our boys. I had to agree.

When she was pregnant, I often watched her with wonder and thanked God for His amazing creations. I watched as the boys were born into this world and have watched them grow with the same sense of awe and worship. But, they are not the only people God created.

I began to wonder just how precious are we to God. Are we more precious, more valuable, more awe-inspiring than the Moon? I think the answer is yes.

Yes: we are. As I walk, I need to start to see others in the awe of their creation and not the annoyance of their fallen-ness. I need to learn to worship God in the glory of these beings -- more splendid and loved than all the rocks (earth-bound or otherwise) in the universe.

It seems clear that I need to start with my wife and kids. I need to re-find the joy that I found in them in earlier times. Wait, back that up a second, please.

I need to start with myself. I need to find the joy that God takes in me; I need to reconnect to my purpose and begin to really live it. Then, once that's taken care of, I can move onto my family -- and the greater world outside.

Psalm 8 says that God "...crowned man with glory and honor...". If that's really true, I should look for that glory and honor in everyone I meet, giving God worship for His amazing creations.

Man is special. More so than the entire rest of nature. Man: made in the image of God; formed from the stuff of the earth; placed a little lower than the angels. What am I that You are mindful of me?

What are we?

Andy

I Really Should Be Working

Tim just asked me a couple of uncomfortable questions, reminding me that the world isn’t as I want it to be. And that I can’t control everything for him anymore.

On the television show Dawson’s Creek, the main character Dawson (who’s parents were divorced) said something like this:

“It was like you two walked into my room and destroyed every toy that I loved. Then looked at me and said ‘now you clean it up’.”

I can’t really think of a more apt way of describing what divorce does to families and kids – not that I have any first hand experience. I have had friends who have been divorced and I have seen the devastation that it creates.

Tim has a friend who’s parents are getting divorced. He comes to me and tells me things that his friend says to him or things he overhears and asks me what that means. It’s hard to explain. I’m not certain that – had I ever gone though it – I could explain it to him.

But, my heart breaks for the kids caught in the middle, as well as the parents at the ends of this fight. At some point, divorce was just not something that was done ... no matter how bad the marriage was. And, there are parts of me that thinks it would be good if we could go back to that: when divorce was a dirty word.

But, that’s probably not for the best. Probably.

I blame us for divorce really; “us”, “Christians”. We ran this country at some point in the not too distant past. And, we let ourselves get caught up in the evil of this world. Or, maybe we never let ourselves get uncaught up in the evil of it.

We allowed words like abortion and divorce to become words without stigma. Sadly, we couldn’t also make them actions without pain. We are left with people who are broken; and I am at a loss for words to comfort them.

How can you make a child believe that their Heavenly Father loves them when their Earthly one just walked out the door? How can you make a mother believe that there is forgiveness for an abortion; or a gay man feel the acceptance of Christ? The Body seems to intent on pushing them away for their sin. How do you teach a teenager that their body is the Temple of God when everyone else tells them that it’s ok to have sex before marriage?

Other than “well, you just do.” I don’t have a lot of answers for these questions. And, with two boys going up so fast, I’m going to need answers for some of these questions sooner rather than later.

I have to get back to work. But, I needed to write this and at least start (for myself and my family) the process of letting God give me His answers for these questions.

Thanks for listening -- Andy